Application to date Brian Chabot

This is a brief (Twenty Questions) form to apply to date that amazing, romantic, and wonderfully sexy guy, the world's most eligible bachelor since 1580... Brian Chabot. Answers will be kept confidential unless they are really outrageously funny. Spammers will be drawn, quartered, defenestrated, and left to rot in the dung heap.

Please answer all the questions, as they are important. If you are unsure what I am looking for, please look here.

If you don't get a response, don't fret. It might not be the right time. Or to turn a phase back on you ladies... I may like you but not in that way. Please do not take offense.
Please fill in all fields. They are all important.
What is your name? *
What is your Email address? *
What is your Availability? *
What is your location? *
How old are you? (in human years, decimal notation please.) *
How tall are you? (In feet and inches, please.) *
How much do you weigh? (in pounds...) *
What is the URL of a website about you? (LJ, home page, MySpace, etc.) *
What do you do to pay the bills? *
Describe your education. *
What are your interests and hobbies? *
Please describe for me what you are passionate about. *
What are your goals in life? *
Describe some of your Turn Ons. *
...and what turns you off? *
Tell me about your best memory about a past relationship. *
What is your worst memory from a past relationship? *
It's friday night. You have no plans for the evening or the rest of the weekend. What do you do? *
What is it that attracts you to Brian? Why do you think you and he would make a good couple? *
Tell me something interesting about yourself. *